December 31, 2016

arigatou, 2016

Lots of things happened in 2016, both positive and negative events came flooding to me but no matter what had occurred I'd like to be thankful for an amazing year. Here's a wordy post as I'd just like to reflect about things and write down some plans for the upcoming year.

Beginning of the year I started off with the second semester of my second year in college and it ended pretty fine for me. Nothing too exciting or bad happened. I guess things started pouring in during the second half of the year when my third year in college began. They may be things that I've mentioned in previous Life Lately posts, but I'm just skimming through them here, so if you want to read on the details you can check them out under that label.

The second half of the year I guess I got into a lot of problems dealing with people? It was around then that I saw some friendships don't last although people had been really nice to me. I feel blessed that I got to know them but sometimes I just can't seem to click or feel comfortable with them even after a long time. I feel bad for shying away from people (it feels like the problem is me) but I know that if I am not being myself while being around them, I don't think that sort of friendship would last. Whenever I meet someone new, initially I'll try to be nice and polite but after months of getting to know each other I can't still be putting on a mask and not be who I really am. I do try to be a little bit more of myself when I'm around them but their responses just doesn't feel right... so that's when I've learned to move on.

The next few months into my third year were really stressful for me. Mostly because I was so tired dealing with lecturers and classmates. I learned to stick to my own beliefs and to not be easily wavered. I learned that even if you try to share effort in working on a group project with people, when they do not take responsibility you have to take charge and make things work in the end because having a final outcome is the most important thing in the end. Work and friendships are separate things. (Though if they can work together that'll be the best)

And I guess through these tough times it made me to care lesser about what people think and just aim for things I care for. The second half of the semester especially, I feel that because I now care very less about getting good grades and pleasing people, it also affected my style and the artworks I produced. I actually love most of the things I managed to create during those few months, although some are not shared here yet because I can't, I really hope one day I can talk about them here.

Looking back at my New Year Resolutions last year, I'm really glad I checked everything off!

1. To travel to Japan in December
I just ticked this off few weeks ago and this is one of the best things that happened this year! This was my first visit to the Land of the Rising Sun. I mean I like it way before I visited it, but now that I've been there I really love it and I am motivated to work hard and go there again, and what if someday I can work there? :D That'll be really awesome!

2. To pick up Japanese again till at least N5
For my second resolution this year I put A LOT of effort into studying Japanese. I've tried picking up and dropping it previously but I guess since I've told myself that I'm going to do it plus I was going to visit Japan I finished self-studying N5 and N4. It wasn't easy self-studying a foreign language, but if you're interested and determined it's really possible. Though I don't have any official certification of me achieving N4, and I know there are some grammatical aspects and certain vocabularies which I still can't fully grasps yet, at least now I can understand most conversation and able to read text and manga easily.

Ah, the thing is that because I self-study so I don't follow the way classes teach, so partly how I learn is from watching videos, interviews and following Japanese accounts on Twitter and Instagram. The way it is presented is in a more casual form so I'm okay with casual conversations but I can't handle formal conversations. It's good in a way because I don't feel too awkward when I tried to speak Japanese during my trip plus I can understand some slangs or the 'trendy words' people use on social media because they are not taught in text books.

3. To finish off my Lux cosplay
I'm happy I finally ticked this off my list too! And would I cosplay another League of Legends character? Probably not hahaha! Lux is my favourite champ and I haven't been playing league as often nowadays so I can't catch up with all the new champs and updates anymore. But I'm happy this year I got to do cosplay again and I'm thinking of sewing new costumes for next year!

And because I'm really happy that I checked off my resolution list for 2016, I want to create another one for 2017~ Nothing major for the year though because they are more like to-do list for the upcoming year.

1. Graduate and find a job I'll enjoy
What else can be on top of my mind right now other than this lol. My final semester is starting soon and I just hope everything will go well so I'll be able to produce final year projects that I'll be proud of. Once that is done, another stage of my life will begin and honestly I have no idea how it will turn out yet, which is probably why I can't be certain to say what are my plans for the year. I'll just pray and hope that good things will be paved for me and hopefully I can find a job that I'll enjoy. Ok, though I have plans that one day I can work in Japan lol

2. Sew more clothes or costumes/Work on more crafting projects
I bought a sewing machine for myself this year and I'm happy I did that! I've been sewing some simple clothings and costumes for myself ever since, but I want to sew even more things for the coming year. I have a few of my personal projects that I wish to work on and of course I have some cosplay plans for this year too! I have only confirmed one cosplan so far which is Stocking Anarchy from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt but I'm thinking if I should sew a new costume and improve on my Konata cosplay. Konata is still my favourite character till today and I want to do a nice cosplay of her. ^^ Working on Lux's costume took a lot of effort but I learned a lot from making it so I hope to use the skills I've learned into these new costumes and hopefully learn more crafting skills for 2017 too!

3. Spend more time with my family
Since I'll be graduating soon, I actually plan to move back home, rest for a bit and enjoy my time with my family. These 3 years although I've been travelling back and forth to go home during holidays there's always this feeling of holiday countdown then I'll have to part with them. I really love them and would like to spend more time with them despite all the naggings I get when I go back lol. Every time I go back my parents tend to ask me to help out with lots of things, although I do get annoyed because I have things to do too, sometimes I feel like if I'm not there who else is there to help? I hope my brother can help out too but some things he does not understand yet since he's still really young. I hope he can learn to be more independent and be more open about his feelings too.

4. Cosplay Photoshoot
Ah yes, since I did a few shoots these past few months, I hope to be able to work with more cosplayers and be able to do more photoshoots! I am not the best at it yet but I want to improve, and hopefully I get more opportunity to do so. I'm introverted and shy and I'm very selective when it comes to meeting people online so often I don't get much connections with people. But I've been trying to make an effort to be a bit more outgoing and there are friends which are really nice and helping me out to get to know more people so I'm very grateful for that too. ^^

Thanks for reading up till here, Happy New Year and have a great year ahead!

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