December 31, 2013

New Year Resolutions?... I might as well skip that.

Dear all, it's the time of the year again. Where everyone starts asking each other about their new year resolutions and making a huge list of things which they wish to complete by the end of the year. Perhaps it works for you, but for me... I'll give that a pass.

Why is it that people even bother to list down resolutions when they hardly accomplish them? Unless they are resolutions which can be easily achieved where I don't see the point of that being a resolution. 2013 has been a hard ride for me. After going through ups and downs, I've learned that to plan too much ahead seems like you've got a wonderful blueprint of your life, however when something unexpected occurs it just makes the whole build up tumble down.

I'm not joking. After graduating from high school last year, I had my plans for my tertiary studies planned out, things which I want to do and achieve and all of that sort. It seemed perfect, and I just had to live with that right? But who would've expected myself to have dropped out of college after the first semester because I loathed the course and lived as a freeloader? Before you start judging, I would like to make myself clear. What I'm trying to convey is that sometimes you plan things out so perfectly, you've neglected the crucial part of the large picture. Your passion.

You see, I got into SAM (short for South Australian Matriculation) because my parents wanted me to involve with business. To them, there must be business in my future career. The past year before that we had already discussed on my tertiary education and had lots of discussion on that. It was only a 3 months break after graduation and I had to make my tertiary education choice where I made a terrible decision. I suffered through first sem and hardly managed through second sem where I quit after less than a month it commenced because that wasn't what I want to do in life! You see where I was; I paid the tuition fees which summed up to RM10,000+ where I attended a few weeks' course and quit. That means I'll never see my money again. Fortunately enough, with the help of a family friend, we were able to get back around RM3,000+

And if you have been reading my blog for long, you would've known that I started a nail art course in January which I stopped for a few months due to college. Once I quit college, I resumed my nail art course in July and now I'm near completing it. For that whole period of time, I set aside my thoughts for study and dwelled into what I love, art. Ok, you might think I should've gone for art college in the first place right, but I dislike fine art, graphic art, interior design, media and so forth. I can say I'm only interested in the fashion sector at that time and there aren't many options for that industry in Malaysia.

I did my research again and found a local college offering Fashion Marketing and Management course. It sounded appealing to me as I like fashion but dislike sewing thus I was eager to join them in January. Yet there was this one thing I missed, and we'll talk about that again later.

I visited the college campus and the education consultant had been actively informing me about their college happenings and I had visited most of them. Last month, again I visited a project set up by their Fashion Marketing and Management students but much to my dismay, the standard of the college prevailed to be less than what I've expected. And my parents felt that too.

'Not again!' I thought. Just when I thought things were set straight again something comes up and stirs it off course. I was really stressed out about what is the right path to take and how should I go on with my life as my parents were starting to worry again as the new year is coming soon. Once again, we made a rash decision as we found out that the local college has a branch in Singapore offering Fashion Journalism and Communication which was even much better for me since I like writing and fashion at the same time. We contacted the education consultant there and was informed that the application for international students were closing around a week's time. Without much thought, we rushed to prepare the documents and paid the application fees of SGD535 which was non-refundable.

We contacted my aunt in Singapore about it and only after 2 days that we have paid the application fees, she told us about another college in Singapore which was much recommended compared to the previous one. There I was, thrown into a dilemma again.

And till now the story's not complete yet and I doubt I'll be able to give you an answer any time soon. This year, I restored my faith in God and have been praying really hard about these things. Many nights, I tell you, without even my family knowing, I was crying so hard and praying to God for a resolve. Things don't always work your way dear, and this year I have experienced that times over times. But with a strong Christian faith, I know that one day God will show me the answer when the time is right and unfold the journey of my life a step at a time, therefore I shan't be anxious and patiently pray for His guidance.

That said, I now know that planning too ahead isn't always the best idea yet. Instead, my resolution is to live my fullest for now and set aside worries for the future; for the mysteries will unfold itself but the present will be lost by then.

There is always plenty of time. Take it slow and easy.

Happy New Year. :)

P/s: Here's an interesting read. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201012/why-new-years-resolutions-fail

9 comments:

  1. agree i dont usually achieve my resolution..those not fully but partially..but i did achieve some not all la..so i still list down resolution!!!!!!! btw followed you do u mind follow me back via GFC or http://www.bloglovin.com/cindysplanet

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  2. Seriously I know how it felt like for studying what we don't like to do. But the design industry is really limited . Hence I have no choice but to study law(which is the alternate that I'm interested) and all those art and design would be my leisure hobby. Though there's still some regrettable feelings :/
    Anyways, it's the last day of 2013 today. Wishing you a Happy new year in advance and good luck. :)

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  3. Cindy Tong- Good for you that you managed to achieve some of them :) I guess if it helps you then it's okay then, hehe

    Caydence- Ikr! The design industry in Malaysia is really limited to general options only. For me, if I force myself to study something I dislike it just won't work out for me. :( Happy New Year in advance to you too! (^^)

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  4. I totally understand how you feel T_T but unlike you, i did not have the choice of backing out of college, so i suffered for the entire 1.5 years in A-levels. Thankfully it's over now.

    I do envy you in the sense you have some sort of idea of what you like to do. And it seems you have the support from your parents. If you ask me, all i want to do is have a simple life of selling crafts and commissioning costumes..but that doesn't look possible bcz of the "high expectations" my entire family (distant relatives included) have for me. ugh.

    Either way, never stop dreaming and keep working hard! i do believe someday we will have our wish granted. maybe not exactly what we wish for, but perhaps better. cheers, dear ^^

    happy 2014!

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  5. Hikari~ - I didn't know you were having a hard time too... (._.) But it's good that you've endured over it. :) My parents do have some expectations in me too, they want me to go into anything related to business because they think that's how you can get the most income. However, it all comes to one thing. It's your life and you don't have to live up to every expectations others have. There are many successful people out there in various fields, so there are always opportunities in every field. I believe that following your passion and discovering your purpose in life is the most important factor for a fulfilling life. :)
    Happy 2014! :D

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  6. OMg I feel EXACTLY the same as yours.... i feel like people just list them for the sake of blending into the crowd since everyone's listing them... but with no intentions to actually accomplish them. New year's gimmick if you ask me!!!! I just wrote a post on that too!!! Happie new year!!! I've just followed you via GFC, looking forward to your next post love!

    xoxo, Mango ❤
    MangoRabbitRabbit's Blog | Screw New Year's Resolutions!

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  7. Mango RabbitRabbit- *high five* A simple theory lies in here, people want to do things which others do too so they can blend in. Not just that, I'm seeing blogger groups and advertisers requesting bloggers to blog about their resolutions so they can promote both parties at the same time... It doesn't work for me because I blog as a passion of mine. :)
    Happy New Year to you!

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  8. I totally agree with you! I think that we should live life to the fullest NOW :)

    would love to follow eachother btw! Love your blog!

    dontcoralwithme.blogspot.com

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  9. Ashley- Yup! I do that and I feel happy and contented each day! :D

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