Dear all, it's the time of the year again. Where everyone starts asking each other about their new year resolutions and making a huge list of things which they wish to complete by the end of the year. Perhaps it works for you, but for me... I'll give that a pass.
Why is it that people even bother to list down resolutions when they hardly accomplish them? Unless they are resolutions which can be easily achieved where I don't see the point of that being a resolution. 2013 has been a hard ride for me. After going through ups and downs, I've learned that to plan too much ahead seems like you've got a wonderful blueprint of your life, however when something unexpected occurs it just makes the whole build up tumble down.
I'm not joking. After graduating from high school last year, I had my plans for my tertiary studies planned out, things which I want to do and achieve and all of that sort. It seemed perfect, and I just had to live with that right? But who would've expected myself to have dropped out of college after the first semester because I loathed the course and lived as a freeloader? Before you start judging, I would like to make myself clear. What I'm trying to convey is that sometimes you plan things out so perfectly, you've neglected the crucial part of the large picture. Your passion.
You see, I got into SAM (short for South Australian Matriculation) because my parents wanted me to involve with business. To them, there must be business in my future career. The past year before that we had already discussed on my tertiary education and had lots of discussion on that. It was only a 3 months break after graduation and I had to make my tertiary education choice where I made a terrible decision. I suffered through first sem and hardly managed through second sem where I quit after less than a month it commenced because that wasn't what I want to do in life! You see where I was; I paid the tuition fees which summed up to RM10,000+ where I attended a few weeks' course and quit. That means I'll never see my money again. Fortunately enough, with the help of a family friend, we were able to get back around RM3,000+
And if you have been reading my blog for long, you would've known that I started a nail art course in January which I stopped for a few months due to college. Once I quit college, I resumed my nail art course in July and now I'm near completing it. For that whole period of time, I set aside my thoughts for study and dwelled into what I love, art. Ok, you might think I should've gone for art college in the first place right, but I dislike fine art, graphic art, interior design, media and so forth. I can say I'm only interested in the fashion sector at that time and there aren't many options for that industry in Malaysia.
I did my research again and found a local college offering Fashion Marketing and Management course. It sounded appealing to me as I like fashion but dislike sewing thus I was eager to join them in January. Yet there was this one thing I missed, and we'll talk about that again later.
I visited the college campus and the education consultant had been actively informing me about their college happenings and I had visited most of them. Last month, again I visited a project set up by their Fashion Marketing and Management students but much to my dismay, the standard of the college prevailed to be less than what I've expected. And my parents felt that too.
'Not again!' I thought. Just when I thought things were set straight again something comes up and stirs it off course. I was really stressed out about what is the right path to take and how should I go on with my life as my parents were starting to worry again as the new year is coming soon. Once again, we made a rash decision as we found out that the local college has a branch in Singapore offering Fashion Journalism and Communication which was even much better for me since I like writing and fashion at the same time. We contacted the education consultant there and was informed that the application for international students were closing around a week's time. Without much thought, we rushed to prepare the documents and paid the application fees of SGD535 which was non-refundable.
We contacted my aunt in Singapore about it and only after 2 days that we have paid the application fees, she told us about another college in Singapore which was much recommended compared to the previous one. There I was, thrown into a dilemma again.
And till now the story's not complete yet and I doubt I'll be able to give you an answer any time soon. This year, I restored my faith in God and have been praying really hard about these things. Many nights, I tell you, without even my family knowing, I was crying so hard and praying to God for a resolve. Things don't always work your way dear, and this year I have experienced that times over times. But with a strong Christian faith, I know that one day God will show me the answer when the time is right and unfold the journey of my life a step at a time, therefore I shan't be anxious and patiently pray for His guidance.
That said, I now know that planning too ahead isn't always the best idea yet. Instead, my resolution is to live my fullest for now and set aside worries for the future; for the mysteries will unfold itself but the present will be lost by then.
There is always plenty of time. Take it slow and easy.
Happy New Year. :)
P/s: Here's an interesting read. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201012/why-new-years-resolutions-fail